30.11.2003 - Digital debris and detritus...
Following on from yesterday's post, I bring you more flotsam and jetsam washed ashore from the great virtual oceans of the interweb:
Anagrammatically speaking. Razorhead at Ulterior (or should that be Rhoda Raze at I Rule Rot) has been filling his time by making anagrams of blog names. So..., unsurprisingly with only two letters to play with, was not featured. If, like me, you are under the double figure quota of brain cells you can cheat here. For your information anagrams of Welshcake include Elk Cashew, Chalk Ewes and the masturbatory Eel Whacks - my favourite..!
Makes your skin crawl. If you've just eaten I would not follow this link which I found on Dio Bach's blog. Not unless you enjoy lurid tales of parasites and the methods they employ to secure entry to their human hosts.
I promised myself I wouldn't... Tom at Plasticbag risks another run in with the Guardian over their Weblog Awards. His intention was not to say a dickie bird about this year's event but he finds himself forced to comment. For the record, I agree with him and I still have issues with the concept, even if they have made improvements on last year's competion.
Cheap and cheerful. Yesterday was Buy Nothing Day. I managed to adhere to it apart from an excursion to my local where I bought lots. Does alcohol count as a purchase or is it a medical neccessity..? To all those who were expecting a Christmas present from me, let it be known that I will also be observing Buy Nothing Christmas. I am not a material girl. No really...
link | so... tell me
29.11.2003 - Bits and bobs and odds and sods...
Guinea pigs wanted. Via Peripathetic, I found these excellent new beta digital editions of the Guardian and Observer that are being tested. Whilst there are a few glitches here and there, I was still quite impressed with the features. Go on, sign up - you know you want to...
Ooo, how we laughed. Via Popbitch, I found Tee Marto for all your t-shirt needs. If you're a bit stuck for a Christmas present for your aunty Madge then this is for you. I'm tempted to go for the All Day Breakfast design or the Ambulance design.
Christmas is pants. They say tis better to give than to receive. Why be forced to make that decision - drop in at Figleaves and treat yourself. Or maybe just a bit of window shopping...
Regular folks. For America's first phonecam art show get yourself over to Sent. The best of will be exhibited at the Sixspace Gallery in Los Angeles who are inviting professional photographers, filmmakers, media personalities and regular folks to participate in this show which opens in February.
The sincerest form of flattery. The image of me below was not taken with my phone so, unfortunately, I can't enter it for the phonecam exhibition. Nevermind...
link | so... tell me
28.11.2003 - Bought and sold...
Yesterday's Guardian had an article by Benjamin Zephaniah where he explains why he's refused an invitation to the palace to accept an OBE.
Read it, he makes complete sense. He doesn't sound like someone spouting off about race politics; he sounds like someone making sense of the world we live in.
If you want to honour him then read what he's got to say.
link | so... tell me
27.11.2003 - Home and away...
It's been a busy week; at home and abroad. There's been more news than you can shake a shitty stick at:
George W became the first US president to be given a state visit and our welcoming party waved flags and sang songs. The Queen added a sour note to the festivities by moaning about her back garden.
Mad Jacko managed a boost to record sales of his Number Ones collection.
After the dreadful explosions in Turkey last thursday, Britain advises against travel to Istanbul. This is in contrast to the travel advice given after 9/11 for New York. Despite gaping breaches in US security we're more than happy to not give in to terrorism as we stiffen our upper lips by travelling to America. Perhaps it's wrong to compare the two events but has Britain ever advised against travel to al-Qaeda's number one target?
As we scoff at Huntley's account of how Holly and Jessica died in his bathroom, I can't help thinking what if he were telling the truth - as unlikely as that may be...
There was, of course, the big rugby story which captured my attention. I'm speaking of the Springbok bootcamp (who gives a shit about England winning). The DVD is on my Christmas list.
And where have I been while all this has been going on? Well, along with numerous other creatures sensitive to the cold, I flew south to get some summer sun on my white butt. Pictures to follow...
link | so... tell me
19.11.2003 - Victorian values...
A local authority shall not - (a) intentionally promote homosexuality or publish material with the intention of promoting homosexuality; (b) promote the teaching in any maintained school of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship.
Section 28 of the Local Government Act 1988 has gone at last. Yesterday saw this homophobic legislation finally disappear from the statute books. I remember going to numerous rallies and marches around the country when it was introduced. I remember the abseiling lesbians in the House of Lords. I remember the invasion of the BBC's studios while Sue Lawley read the news. I remember the screaming queens who were removed from the public gallery of the House of Commons and arrested by the Sergeant At Arms.
I remember devising a play back in 1988 called Trapped In Time with Steve Chambers and Philip Tyler. The play developed into a protest piece against Section 28 and we were splashed across the front of several tabloids. The scene that attracted most attention was where, dressed as Queen Victoria and doing the can-can to an uptempo version of Land of Hope and Glory, my character came out. Did I mention that it was a comedy?
Section 28 was ill thought out. It was totally unworkable as effective legislation and there has never been a prosecution under Section 28. Where it was successful was in spreading confusion and fear, giving a green light to every homophobe who wanted justification for their prejudiced views. Ivan Massow in The Guardian said, "I have never met a gay person who wants homosexuality promoted in schools. And anyway, you cannot look at a billboard or a game show that does not inform young adults tussling with teenage angst, that straight is, if not best, easier. But ask a Samaritan what it feels like to hear a young person slipping away at the end of the telephone because of their failure to be normal. You probably do not need to ask."
But the battle's not completely won. Conservative Kent County Council has worked a similar law into the curriculum of its 600 schools and the last two Conservative Party leaders, William Hague and Iain Duncan Smith have all opposed the repeal of Section 28.
Michael Howard, the present Conservative Party leader, oversaw the introduction of Section 28 as Local Government Minister under Thatcher in 1988 and has also opposed its repeal. He is now trying to reinvent himself and his party as more inclusive and less right wing with a promise of a free vote for Tory MPs on same sex partnership legislation. It will take a bit more than that to eradicate the years of Tory bigotry.
Even so, I welcome a fight for the centre ground; it can only be of benefit to us as they all try to prove who's the more liberal. Although why everyone's fighting for the overcrowded centre ground, I don't know, not when there's that huge brown fill site vacated by Labour on the left..?
link | so... tell me
18.11.2003 - Sex, death and the pissoir...
In a flat at 25 Noel Road, Islington, London on the 9th August 1967, Joe Orton was murdered by Kenneth Halliwell, his partner of 16 years. He was 34 years old. Halliwell smashed Orton's skull in with a hammer and then took an overdose of twenty-two Nembutal washed down with the juice from a tin of grapefruit. Halliwell died first.
I found my old script to Joe Orton's Ruffian On The Stair yesterday and reread the play. Ruffian was the prototype for his more famous play and first big success, Entertaining Mr Sloane which I then also reread. Terence Rattigan hailed it "the best first play I have seen in 28 years". After Sloane Orton's name was up in lights and he became an important voice in British theatre.
The plays, especially Sloane, caused uproar in the world of the theatre-going middle classes and Orton lapped it up. He fuelled the controversey further by writing complaints to various newspapers under numerous noms de plume. Here he writes as Edna Welthorpe in reply to an earlier complaint to The Daily Telegraph from Peter Pinnell, which he'd also written:
- Sir - As a playgoer of forty years standing, may I say that I heartily agree with Peter Pinnell in his condemnation of "Entertaining Mr Sloane".
I myself was nauseated by this endless parade of mental and physical perversion. And to be told that such a disgusting piece of filth now passes for humour.
Today's young playwrights take it upon themselves to flaunt their contempt for ordinary decent people. I hope that the ordinary decent people of this country will shortly strike back! Yours truly, Edna Welthorpe (Mrs)
- SLOANE: It's like this see. One day I leave the Home. Stroll along. Sky blue. Fresh air. They'd found me a likeable permenant situation. Canteen facilities. Fortnight's paid holiday. Overtime? Time and a half after midnight. A staff dance each year. What more could one wish to devote one's life to? I certainly loved that place. The air round Twickenham was like wine. Then one day I take a trip to the old man's grave. Hic Jacets in profusion. Ashes to ashes. Alas the fleeting. The sun was declining. A few press-ups on a tomb belonging to a family name of Caveneagh, and I left the graveyard. I thumbs a lift from a geyser who promises me a bed. Gives me a bath. And a meal. Very friendly. All you could wish for he was, a photographer. He shows me one or two experimental studies. An experience for the retina and no mistake. He wanted to photo me. For certain interesting features I had that he wanted the exclusive right of preserving. You know how it is. I didn't like to refuse. No harm in it I suppose. But then I got to thinking... I knew a kid once called MacBride that happened to. Oh yes... so when I gets to thinking of this I decide I got to do something about it. And I gets up in the middle of the night looking for the film see. He has a lot of expensive equipment about in his studio see. Well it appears he gets the wrong idea. Runs in. Gives a shout. And the long and the short of it is I loses my head which is a thing I never ought to a done with the worry of those photos an all. And I hits him. I hits him. Pause. He must have had a weak heart. Something like that I should imagine. Definitely should have seen his doctor before that. I wasn't to know was I? I'm not to blame.
17.11.2003 - Shooting people...
I found these great photographs by Matt Stuart via Dirty Dio Bach's site yesterday. I agree with Dio's opinion of them; clever and funny. The photos are well worth viewing and also, do have a little peek at Dio's site while you're about it.
link | so... tell me
16.11.2003 - Yesterday...
Me 'n' the bf went holiday hunting yesterday for a late deal. We're looking for sun, sand and sea air. On our budget that looks like Fuerteventura. We're gonna have another look today and see what else is out there. With any luck I'll be packing my shorts and a few t-shirts soon.
travel agent had suggested, we sought refuge in a nearby bar and had a lovely afternoon with David.
Later we went back to his house and caught the second half of the truly awful Junior Eurovision Song Contest. Lots of images of precocious prepubescents aping adult emotions and sexuality. Hideous!
This was followed by a few beers, a takeaway and Beaches. How gay is that? We laughed and talked a lot, interspersed with curry flavour burps.
link | so... tell me
15.11.2003 - Stop fortnight...
Did I mention that I'm off work for the next two weeks? No? Well, I am...
link | so... tell me
14.11.2003 - Christian values...
A private Christian school in Florida is being sued for expelling a student who admitted he's a homosexual. Jeffrey Woodward claims the Jupiter Christian School expelled him three days after he admitted to a teacher that he was gay.
It never ceases to amaze me the hate, bile, fear and the loathing that emanates from these people who claim to practice love, compassion and charity.
...or maybe I got it wrong?
link | so... tell me
13.11.2003 - Gandalf...
I first saw my favorite actor, Ian Mckellen, on stage in the National's production of Coriolanus in 1984. I thought his performance was breathtaking; the production, however, was not.
The production design was part period, part modern. Sometimes McKellen appeared in full Roman General's costume, sometimes like a modern day General. This I found quite exciting, including the mix of weapons; certain scenes involved swords while others involved machine guns. I didn't even mind the alternative pronounciation of Coriolanus (pronounced Coriolaanus). No. What I found distracting to the point of irritation was the decision to seat some of the audience on stage.
Why the director, Sir Peter Hall, had decided to do this, I don't know. I suppose the idea was that they sat and watched, they became the crowd and they mirrored us, the audience. In reality they were at best a distraction and at worst hilarious. The night I went there was an elderly lady in a mac. By the time she got to her feet it was time to sit back down and by the time she got to her seat she was being herded on to her feet to play crowd in another scene.
McKellen reflects:
- Hall placed about 30 members of the audience on the stage. They were expected, under the direction of the cast, to respond to the action. This they either totally failed to do – blocking my first entrance, for example, too nervous to interfere by shifting their ground so the arrogant Caius Martius had to walk ignominiously round them – or they joined in too enthusiastically, waving or chatting amongst themselves at inappropriate moments. After 30 performances I was fed up with all this and, having established Irene and the rest of the cast agreed, I wrote a memo to Peter asking for his permission to try a couple of performances with the audience where they belonged, i.e. not on the stage with the actors. Peter refused, accusing me of “rather undermining everything I think about the production”. Mmmmmm. I retorted “After every performance I talk to friends who have seen the show and with one, I promise you only one, exception they are unanimous that the on-stage audience is a distraction and a comic distraction at that. You can imagine how disheartening it is when friends want to talk about the odd characters they have spent the evening looking at, instead of talking about the production.” No response to that plea. A few shows later as I was about to start the soliloquy in the enemy camp a woman returning from the bar asked me to sign her programme.
12.11.2003 - If thy right arm offends thee...
Actually, it's not my right arm that offends me but my left. I am in agony with it and have been since early last week. I am in constant pain and I can't sleep. I've been taking Ibuprofen for the last week with no improvement. I went to see my doctor on Monday who thinks I've strained a tendon somewhere. She said, "the good news is that 90% of such injuries clear up by themselves in five or six weeks." If that's the good news I'm glad she didn't have any bad news for me.
Speaking of bad news and therapies that don't work, I read this BBC article about cures for homosexuality following the Bishop of Chester's recent comments on sexuality reorientation. Such therapies are often brutal and their success dubious. If human sexuality is such a frail and malleable thing then I say to the Bishop of Chester, "Some people who are primarily heterosexual can reorientate themselves. I would encourage them to consider that as an option, but I would not set myself up as a medical specialist on the subject, that's in the area of psychiatric health."
Stick to Judean mythology, Dr Forster...
link | so... tell me
11.11.2003 - One man's meat...
I suspect that Guy Ingle is in big demand at the moment. What with the current gossip surrounding the Prince of Wales, he'll have a hell of a job trying to convince the Inland Revenue that all he's had in the last year are a couple of after dinner speeches, a two minute spot on Richard and Judy and a Japanese TV commercial.
link | so... tell me
10.11.2003 - Untimely ripped...
The Countess of Wessex has given birth to a baby girl in an effort to divert attention from the recent allegations surrounding the Prince of Wales.
The baby was delivered by emergency Caesarean section a month early on Saturday night, only hours before Prince Charles flew back into the country amid a frenzied media interest.
The Queen is thought to have ordered the operation as a good news story and smoke screen for her beleaguered son and heir. It follows a long standing favour owed to the Queen by the Countess of Wessex.
A Buckingham Palace spokesman said, "We needed an alternative focus for public interest. It was either Sophie giving birth or Prince Philip opening a lesbian and gay drop in centre in Milton Keynes."
You read it here first..!
link | so... tell me
09.11.2003 - Throw caution to the wind...
This wonderful review of the Oxo Tower Brasserie has been making me giggle for days.
- When my boyfriend told me he wanted to take me up the Oxo Tower for my birthday, I was a bit hesitant at first because I didn't really think it was my scene. How wrong I was! I mean, yeah, so it's a bit of a strain on the old back pocket, and I admit I did feel a bit uncomfortable initially. But a couple of cocktails helped me relax and soon I was really getting into it - we carried on well into the night. It was a great experience and I really loved it - so much so that I won't let my boyfriend take me anywhere else now! So if anyone ever wants to take you up the Oxo Tower, just throw caution to the wind and go for it!
08.11.2003 - Denial...
What ever it was, it wasn't me; that's (more or less) the statement that Clarence House have issued on behalf of Prince Charles. This can only serve to whet our appetites. So what was it that a Royal Household employee did not witness the heir to the throne doing?
Clarence House has sent imaginations and my hits spiralling into orbit. And for what? If the objective was to dampen speculation then they have failed spectacularly. They have kindled interest in a story that might have dwindled to nothing had they kept mum.
Instead thousands are scouring the internet searching for what Prince Charles was not caught doing.
link | so... tell me
07.11.2003 - Irony...
We are proud to announce that Michael "something of the night" Howard is the first Welsh Tory leader...
link | so... tell me
06.11.2003 - The end is nigh...
Gay bishops? Tory leadership candidates? More industrial action?
Who cares? Looks like we ain't got long anyway...
link | so... tell me
05.11.2003 - Remember, remember...
Yes, it's time to get out your papal effigy and burn it on top of a huge bonfire of reactionary edicts issued by the Vatican. Why not double the catharsism this year and throw a few Anglican effigies on top aswell.
Alternatively you could stick with the more traditional celebration.
link | so... tell me
04.11.2003 - St Trinian's...
I grew up watching this series of british comedy films. They weren't as successful as the Doctor or the Carry On series and they haven't attracted the same retrospective analysis that the others have. Having said that, they're real gems and deserving of more attention.
The first in the series from 1954, The Belles Of St Trinian's, sets the tone. There are classic performances from a galaxy of British character actors including, Joyce Grenfell, Beryl Reid, Irene Handl, George Cole, Sid James and Joan Sims. The cast is headed in this first film by the magnificent Alistair Sim in the dual roles of bookmaker, Clarence and his twin sister and St Trinian's headmistress, Miss Fritton. The other films, although never quite matching the excellence of the first, follow in the same vein.
St Trinian's! St Trinian's!Our battle cry.
St Trinian's! St Trinian's!
Will never die! Here and here are some St Trinian's links. Enjoy. link | so... tell me
03.11.2003 - Building a DVD collection...
Combing through the DVD's that are about to be released over the next month, I got very excited about the following:- The Belles Of St. Trinian's, Blue Murder At St. Trinians, Pure Hell At St. Trinians and The Great St. Trinians Train Robbery all for £14.99 and released today. Heaven!
- A Cary Grant feast of Indiscreet, Operation Petticoat, My Favourite Wife and Bringing Up Baby for £34.99 and released tomorrow. I can't give you anything but love, baby...
- Peter Greenaway's The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover for £9.99 and released a week today. Shocking and brilliant.
- Andrew Davies' A Very Peculiar Practice for £24.99 and released 24th November. I still dream of those nuns!
02.11.2003 - Building a record collection - Part II...
link | so... tell me
01.11.2003 - Building a record collection - Part I...
link | so... tell me