30.09.2003 - Brownie points...
Did anyone see Channel 4's The Deal on Sunday Night? I didn't catch all of it but what I did see was interesting up to a point and irritating in the extreme. I don't know if I was irritated by Michael Sheen's portrayal of Tony Blair or just by the spectre of Tony Blair and his irritating mannerisms stalking every other scene.
The play focused on the alleged deal struck between Gordon Brown and Tony Blair after John Smith's premature death. Although David Morrissey's portrayal of Gordon Brown, contrasted against Sheen's Blair, was much more sensitive and fleshed out, as a whole the play was two dimensional - an over simplification which slaughtered Blair's character allowing Brown to take the high ground.
And then, as if by magic, that is indeed what Gordon Brown did at the Labour Party Conference yesterday. In an impassioned speech he swept many a party member and the entire press corp away with his rhetoric. He siezed the high ground from Blair.
The BBC is already excitedly asking how does Gordon Brown square up as an alternative leader? We'll have to wait and see what tricks Blair has up his sleeve in Round 2 today.
link | so... tell me
29.09.2003 - Jack shit...
Shirts are ironed and shoes are polished - I'm back in work today after two blissful weeks of doing nothing; getting up late and staying up late, mid afternoon trips to the pub, sorting out all my admin and generally mooching around.
I'm back in work for five days then I'm off again next week. I've got quite a bit of my holiday entitlement left to take and this was the only way I could fit it in.
Life's hard...
link | so... tell me
28.09.2003 - Armageddon (Part 1)...
North America, London, Southern Sweden and Copenhagen and now Italy: all have suffered serious power outages in the past month or so.
Is it nothing but mere coincidence, flavour of the month with journalists or is it the beginning of Armageddon?
When God destroys this wicked world and the whole of humanity, remember that you read it here first...
link | so... tell me
27.09.2003 - A night out...
Beer is nice. Red wine is nice. Sea bass cooked Italian style is nice. Cigarettes are nice. Put them all together and the result is not so nice.
Oh dear! I feel very delicate today.
link | so... tell me
26.09.2003 - We get everywhere...
I'm nearing the end of Steve Jones' book, Y: The Descent Of Man - and what a good read it is. In the following excerpt he argues that it is a misconception that Pennsylvania was named after William Penn's family:
- When it came to a title for the territory as a whole, Penn suggested New Wales. The emigrants disagreed (a New England, they felt, was quite enough) but Penn appeared to compromise. The colony would be named in part Welsh: "Penn being Welsh for head as in Pennmanmoire, in Wales... I called this Pennsylvania, which is the high or head woodlands" (the extra n was no doubt a clerical error). Today's suburbs of Philadelphia include places called Uwchlyn, Llanerch and Tredyffryn - names that come not, as often assumed, from Native American tongues, but from Wales.
25.09.2003 - Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough...
I've given up on barbers and hairdressers; all that smalltalk and they never give you the cut you want. Recently I've been shaving my head with my electric clippers. I say shaving, it's set to a #4 - short enough to look neat but not scary.
So there I am this morning in my sleepy haze; I attach comb #4 and start buzzing away when... "Oh, what's this; what's this shaved patch on the side of my head?" The comb had become detached and I'd shaved a big patch just above my ear. I resembled a newly neutered cat just back from the vets.
So... I attached comb #1 and I shaved the rest of my head to match the patch. Do I look hard or what? I can see myself in a small cameo role in Eastenders or Crimewatch maybe..?
link | so... tell me
24.09.2003 - For better or for worse...
This is a picture of my mum on her wedding day back in 1957. She's 21 years old.
The picture was rescued from my gran's house after she died earlier this year. There are numerous pictures of my mum and dad's wedding but this is the only one I could find where she's smiling - I mean really smiling. The smile seems quite false in all of the other photos.
Is it my imagination or did people have more style and glamour back then? Looking at the clothes people wore and the way they held themselves, it does seem an altogether more elegant age. Perhaps it's just me getting older?
My mum has been divorced for 19 years now and she seems a lot happier because of it. She does what she wants, when she wants and how she wants. She's 68 today.
link | so... tell me
23.09.2003 - Welcome to the crane fly hospice...
These bloody things are everywhere again - exploring the TV screen, flying into my face when I'm in bed, buzzing and banging into the windows.
And if that isn't enough, I keep finding dead ones everywhere. It's like being visited by some bloody biblical plague.
link | so... tell me
22.09.2003 - Fairer, faster and firmer..?
How proud and pleased we all must be with the UK Government's proposals on the treatment of asylum seekers. Accoring to the Home Office's website:
- The appeals system will be streamlined to minimise delay and cut down barriers to removal. A strategy will be developed to increase the number of removals of people who have no claim to stay in this country."
21.09.2003 - Island breed..?
From a report in today's Observer I read that Britain has been inhabited by humans for half a million years. During that time sea levels have dropped on five occasions during which time we were connected to mainland Europe. In fact, we have spent more time connected to the continent than we have as an island.
- Ten thousand years ago, at the end of the last ice age, with much of the world's water still trapped in giant glaciers and ice caps, sea levels were many feet below their current level. The river Arun, which now enters the Channel at Littlehampton, then ran on for several miles before flowing into a valley that had been carved by a south-flowing river created by the combined waters of the Thames, Rhine and Seine.
20.09.2003 - A pressing search...
It's interesting to trawl your site's referrers list - who's visited your site and what weird and wonderful searches have brought them flocking to your site for the answer.
Among the usual searches for gay footballers, welsh transvestites and Frank Bough, yesterday I found expected pulse rate ironing. Well, ironing can be quite physical - a week's washing can test your skills and stamina to the limit. Just twenty minutes of moderate ironing three times a week can help prevent heart disease and add up to five years to your life.
I hear that the IOC are considering it for Beijing Olympics in 2008.
link | so... tell me
19.09.2003 - Elemental...
I found a wonderful collection of Tom Lehrer songs while browsing in a music shop yesterday - The Remains Of Tom Lehrer. This box set covers nearly everything he ever recorded on 3 CDs. Included is a booklet with a biography, quotes from the man himself and detailed sleeve notes. Mmmmm...
While I'm saving up for it I'll have to make do with this page on the lyrics for one of his most famous songs, Elements (don't miss the link to the Flash animation).
link | so... tell me
18.09.2003 - Serious issue...
I'm currently reading Y: The Descent Of Men by Steve Jones. It's interesting stuff. The chapter I'm on at the moment deals with sperm. Sperms are brittle little things. Only the strong survive the journey from testes to egg - in terms of its size this is comparable to the journey from London to Edinburgh for a man. Luckily, with every ejaculation we produce sufficient numbers for some of the lucky devils to get through. Enough, in fact, to fertilise every woman in Europe.
But sometimes it doesn't quite work out; sometimes we need a little help. Assisted reproduction takes many forms; everything from the turkey baster to Intra-cytplasmic sperm injection. A little helping hand at the pre-conception stage happens all over the world, and has done for several hundred years. But this has escalated (along with the associated technologies) in the twenty-five years since the birth of Louise Brown in 1978. Nowhere more so than in Denmark where one baby in twenty is conceived by some form of assisted reproduction.
I then read this today - how researchers think that liquorice may lower levels of testosterone, affect libido and mood and may even increase the risks of sexual problems. And you'll know, if you've ever been to Denmark, the vast amounts of liquorice they consume.
I can't help thinking that there might be a connection here. Could the Danes' love of the salty black stuff be hindering their production of the salty white stuff? But no... I then read that Denmark also boasts the world's largest sperm bank. The Cryos International Sperm Bank Ltd in Århus exports buckets of it to the rest of the world. So bang goes my theory.
Funnily enough, the Danish confectioners, Galle & Jessen, manufacture a liquorice called Spunk. That's their logo at the top of this post. Somewhere, I've got a t-shirt of theirs with Spunk on it... and I'm sure I'm not the only one..!
link | so... tell me
17.09.2003 - I'm a cross between a foetus, a soldier and a yearner...
Are you a foetus, a log, a yearner, a soldier, a freefall or a starfish? I'm talking about the positions we adopt when we sleep.
Professor Chris Idzikowski, director of the Sleep Assessment and Advisory Service, has analysed six common sleeping positions and found that each is linked to a particular personality type. Read the BBC's report here.
I start the night as a foetus, spend the middle part as a snoring soldier (so the bf says) and usually wake up as a bit of a yearner. This means that I'm tough on the outside but sensitive at heart (foetus), I set myself and others high standards (soldier) and I have an open nature, but I can be suspicious and cynical (yearner).
I think I'll go back to reading my horoscope - far simpler.
link | so... tell me
16.09.2003 - Bluetooth...
Bluetooth wireless technology is a short-range radio technology. Bluetooth makes it possible to transmit signals over short distances between telephones, computers and other devices and thereby simplify communication and synchronization between devices.
Harald I or Harald Bluetooth (Harald Blåtand) was King of Denmark between 940 and 985 AD. When Harald's sister Gunhild was widowed after the death of the violent Norwegian King Erik Blood Axe, she came to Denmark to seek Harald's help in securing control of Norway. Harald took the opportunity to seize control himself. By 960 he was at the height of his powers, ruling over both Denmark and Norway.
As Blåtand united Denmark and Norway, so Bluetooth technology unites the worlds of computers and telecoms. In 1994, the Swedish company Ericsson decided to name the new technology after this Viking King.
link | so... tell me
15.09.2003 - One of the great injustices of the second half of the 20th Century...
I watched The Magdalene Sisters on the weekend. It's an extraordinary film film by Peter Mullan based on the true stories of thousands of so called "fallen women" who were made to work, to atone for their sins, in the monstrous Magdalene Laundries in Ireland - the last of which closed only in 1996.
The performances are stunning. Anne-Marie Duff, Dorothy Duffy and Nora-Jane Noone (cast as the central characters, Margaret, Rose and Bernadette) take you on a journey which leaves you with a disbelief that anything could exist like this in a civilised state after the horrors of Nazi Germany. Geraldine McEwan towers as the frightening Sister Bridget and Eileen Walsh as Crispina will leave you thinking long after the end titles about the forced slavery, degradation and punishment all these women suffered.
The film won Best Film at the Venice Film Festval in 2002, prompting a row with the Catholic Church who said, "Awarding top honours to Magdalene was the most offensive and pathetic page written by the jury."
It is becoming ever more clear that the Catholic Church has a growing list of shameful acts that it has to answer for.
link | so... tell me
14.09.2003 - Rhubarb Crumble v Basement Jaxx...
The bf got tickets to Dance Day at Radio 1's One Big Weekend in Cardiff yesterday. It was such a beautiful day. We got there by about 2pm and sat on the grass soaking up the sun, the music and the Grolsch.
The organisers were giving away VIP backstage passes to the lucky few who sent in a photo of themselves. The bf took a photo of me with my new phone and sent it to them. It was then that we noticed the large screens flashing up images that people had sent in. Thankfully, mine was not displayed (or if it was I missed it).
By about 6pm we'd had enough sun and Grolsch and, I have to admit that I'm not a huge fan of dance music, so we decided to make a move. We called in at Marks & Spencers on the way home to get some treats and whilst deciding whether to buy a rhubarb crumble I got a text to say that I'd won two VIP backstage passes.
M & S rhubarb crumble or the chance to hob-nob with Basement Jaxx and the Chemical Brothers? No competition...
link | so... tell me
13.09.2003 - We're wide awake...
I was determined to get a good night's sleep last night. Today is the first day off work in a while and I did not want to wake at 5am - as I have been doing for the last couple of weeks.
At about 5am this morning I awoke to the sound of a policeman wrestling some guy to the floor right under my bedroom window. "Geroff me fuckin arm, geroff..!" They rolled around on the ground for a while; the copper trying to cuff this guy who, between moaning about his arm, kept threatening what he was going to do to the policeman if he got the chance.
link | so... tell me
12.09.2003 - The expense of boredom...
Got bored last night. So bored that I bought a new phone online. I don't need one - other than I get the piss taken whenever I pull out the old brick I currently use (I said brick).
There's no chance of me getting bored in work; today is my last day for two weeks and, as ever, I'm trying to cram a week's work into an afternoon so that I can take time off. It makes me wonder if it's worth all the bother - far easier not to take time off.
link | so... tell me
11.09.2003 - God looks after his own...
I used to work with a woman who was a christian fundamentalist. She was very nice and very annoying; if she knew you had a problem of any kind she'd give you a leaflet on how the church could help you with it. It wouldn't matter what was troubling you, there was always a leaflet - What Jesus Teaches Us About Debt and What God Says About Acne and so on.
One day a few years ago she kept leaving her desk throughout the morning. She'd announced earlier that morning that she didn't feel very well and it soon became obvious to everyone that her sudden disappearances were emergency trips to the toilet. By mid afternoon she was looking pretty distraught and she told her manager that she wanted to go home as she was still in quite some discomfort. She promised to come in early the next day to make up for the time lost and off she dashed.
The next day she came in early, as she'd promised. She said that she still didn't feel 100% but nowhere near as ill as she'd felt the day before. Her manager took her aside to check that everything was OK. The manager emerged from the meeting barely containing a huge grin. She later confided in us that this woman had not quite made it home the afternoon before and had shit herself on the main road only a hundred yards from her house, adding, "And she was wearing tights!"
Now what sort of just and fair God allows that to happen to one of his most fervent disciples?
link | so... tell me
10.09.2003 - My weekend name is Elaine...
Has anyone seen the posters that Ann Summers shops are using as part of their window displays?
For those oblivious to who or what Ann Summers is, I should explain that Ann Summers is a UK chain of shops selling erotic clothing and accessories - aimed in the main at women. To call them sex shops would be misleading and their presence on many high streets increases their acceptability to many people.
Anyway, the poster I'm talking about has a woman in bra and pants draped over some guy wearing much the same. She is painting his nails bright red and he's laughing - obviously enjoying the whole experience immensly.
I think it's a great image but I'm not sure what John Normal would think. Who knows, it may open some doors that he never knew existed.
link | so... tell me
09.09.2003 - Move, you're stepping on my heart...
I spent part of Sunday afternoon ironing and singing along to the original Broadway cast recording of Dreamgirls. Gay or what!
There's talk that there'll be a Broadway revival next year and, who knows, maybe a London premier soon after.
I bet I get overlooked for an audition again. And the part of Effie Melody White is mine, mine I tell you!
You are so horribly satanic
The way you lead me around
I'm feeling just like the Titanic
I'm always going down, down, down, down. They don't do lyrics like that anymore... Going off the subject a little (What subject?), didn't Jennifer Holliday play Heaven back in the 80's? I have a strong memory of being barged by a large black lady as she made her way to the stage. Mind you, I was that pissed it could've been Derek Jarman. If you're a gay man and you've never heard about this musical, read more about it here before we cancel your membership. link | so... tell me
08.09.2003 - O for a muse of fire...
Every now and then I get a real urge to jack in the 9-5 and return to my life as an actor. I miss that creativity. I miss that spontaneity that occasionally produces something moving, funny, original. I miss the delving deep inside and, out of the mess down there, dragging something up that's beautiful and truthful.
Stop! Think! Breathe!
Whilst surfing aimlessly yesterday I found myself hopping from one actor's site to another. And on and on I go via numerous agents' sites... And many sound so desperate. Did I ever sound that desperate?
Probably.
Having been in the same business once, it's painful reading some of those online CVs. Starved of the recognition they no doubt deserve, actors inflate the roles they've played in the past. It's a vicious circle; the less recognition you get, the more desperate you sound, the less recognition you get.
Who cares if the interpretation of Macbeth you gave in Ledbury Community Centre was up there with the greats? So what if you were the person standing behind Richard Gere in that scene which eventually got cut from the film?
It's not about talent, it's about looks and luck; being in the right place at the right time with a look that fits.
And what is it about actors' websites? They are invariably so sub-standard. So much time spent on grooming that image and then presented on a website that's, quite frankly, tacky. Here's the famous Spotlight website from which you'll no doubt find a lot that's impressive but also a lot that's bloody awful.
link | so... tell me
07.09.2003 - Blogging back to happiness...
If you prick us, do we not bleed? Well, not as much as those who do not write about their emotions, according to this report.
36 people were each given a small skin puncture on their arm and then half of them were asked to write about their most upsetting experience. It was found that those who had written about their troubles had smaller wounds than those who had not.
The findings would indicate that writing about upsetting experiences lowers our stress levels. Bloggers, therefore, should be pretty stress-free and healthy individuals with our daily outpourings of angst and ire.
Keep it coming girls and boys.
link | so... tell me
06.09.2003 - One of the great cultural edifices of the world...
I can't wait for the opening of the Wales Millennium Centre by famous people from Wales working all over the world in all of the art forms..!
link | so... tell me
05.09.2003 - Next...
How difficult can it be to buy a shirt?
I pop into my local fashion emporium and spot a rack of rather attractive double cuffed lilac shirts. Unfortunately none on display are my collar size. I ask if they have the particular lilac shirt in a 16" collar with a double cuff. "No" is the reply and when I ask if there are any deliveries due, the same reply is offered. Helpful...?
Next day and there are no lilac shirts on display in that style. I see a similar shirt but in white. Again I enquire if they have it in a 16" collar with double cuff. The assistant returns triumphant until I point out that what he has found is a button cuff and not the double cuff version I'd asked for. I ask again about deliveries which prompts an open mouthed blank stare. You'd think I was speaking in some remote Inuit dialect. I explain to the assistant what I'm really after is a similar style in lilac which they'd had on display only the day before. He assures me that they do not manufacture that style shirt in lilac. I argue that I held it in my hand the day before and that they were on display in the nearby rack, "there". But no, he reiterates that they do not make that style in lilac.
Next day and I ask if I can order the lilac shirt with double cuff and 16" collar. The assistant smiles. Things are looking hopeful. When I'm asked for the product code I point out that I am a customer and not a member of staff. "I need a product code to be able to place the order" she says and smiles weakly. I ask if she can use the product code for the blue version as a starting point? No that is not possible comes the reply. I ask if she knows when the next delivery is due and is it likely to bring a 16" collar, double cuff, lilac shirt? "We get deliveries every day but we never know what they contain until we unpack them".
Next day and via the internet I have tracked down the product code. I present it to the assistant who keys it in and unburdens me of £21.99.
I think I deserve a discount.
link | so... tell me
04.09.2003 - It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now...
On Tuesday I wrote abot a man who had to have both legs amputed because he contracted MRSA at a Welsh hospital. On Tuesday night my mum told me that my brother, who is still in hospital, has contracted MRSA. Spooky. He's OK apparently and although the doctors would rather keep him in for monitoring they're thinking of sending him home to reduce repeated infection.
Following on from the SARS scares earlier in the year, it's hard to think of hospitals as hygenic places where you go to get help in getting well.
link | so... tell me
03.09.2003 - TNFA...
I spent the best part of last night helping the bf translate biographies for a Danish film called The Forbidden Team.
It's a documentary about the Tibetan National Football Team. I didn't know they had one..?
link | so... tell me
02.09.2003 - Not a leg to stand on...
This poor sod went into a Welsh hopital for treatment of some minor cuts on his feet and after contracting MRSA, the so-called superbug, had to have both legs amputated.
link | so... tell me
01.09.2003 - Taffy was a Welshman, Taffy was a thief...
I found this site yesterday which gives some interesting angles to things Cardiff...
link | so... tell me